Diary of Wisdom and Love

These were the things I did for those in need in 2012

Vacone, Italy

There was a time before I was being spoken to by Our Lord God.

I was asked to write by Jesus to describe who I was becoming in San Francisco. All of these words are true. It is a true account of these events. Many more things happened then and many more words were said by me, most of which hold no resemblance to His Truth.

In 2011 while I was in San Francisco I witnessed a homeless man with a seizure. He was convulsing on the street. He was outside a 7/11 store on Haight St near Cole St. I was walking with my then colleague Michael.

As we passed the man he was clearly in need of help. There were several onlookers who told us to ignore the man, that he was faking his illness.

I was given want by Our Lord Jesus Christ to feed and help this man who was in need. I said to Michael to wait with him while I went inside to buy fresh food and energy drinks. Michael sat by the man and knew to keep talking with him.

Someone phoned an ambulance and as is common practice in the United States the first responder, the fire brigade, responded with a paramedic.

The man needed no more than love and care that day.

It was wrong for people in this wealthy district to ignore the plight of those who suffer homelessness and poverty. These are His People. It is our duty to help our fellow men and women, regardless of our predisposition about who they are or what they are asking for.

I knew to help this man because I was told by Our Lord Jesus Christ to do this.

Feed Him, He says to us.
Clothe Him, He tells us to do.
Shelter Him, we know He has told us time and again, through His Apostles, His Saints, and in His Word in The Holy Bible.

It is ignorant to believe not one of us knows of His Message of Truth.

Then before I was incarcerated in hospital in March 2012, I was told by Our Lord to find food for the hungry. He gave me time to find Him.

After confessing my sins before Our Lord Jesus Christ in front of Brother Pasternak in Berkeley, I received The Body and Blood of Jesus and became knowing to do more. Brother Pasternak before the end of Mass spoke of work the parishioners were doing the following day in helping to feed the homeless in the parish centre. I knew to go as Our Lord gave me want to.

When I went there I found many homeless people queuing for Sunday lunch. They were all in need of His saving help. I wanted to help the staff in the kitchen, but they did not know me and they told me there were enough helpers.

I decided to sit with a lady who no one could understand. I listened to her, I understood nothing, but she began to show me a newspaper and talked about her desire to be an astronaut, what she would have wanted had she had a different life. She wanted to go to the moon.

She wanted a friend, someone to hear her. There was nothing wrong with what she was saying but even her friends around us were telling me she was insane. She just needed a friend. She was a warm, loving, nice lady. I had apprehensions too before I started speaking to her, but I knew to speak to her.

I was given want by Our Lord to help these people in some way, I was affluent even after losing my job, and I went outside to a local restaurant to buy food vouchers. I gave four of my friends I met in this place money in food vouchers. The woman at the restaurant I bought these from received advanced payment of a tip and I asked her if it would be ok to give the people who would be homeless these vouchers. There was a man I met on the street who was homeless and he refused to take the voucher. He wanted money to buy what he wanted. It was wrong of me to tell him that he just needed food, food from an expensive restaurant too.

The lady running the centre came to me during the day to test me. She told me they had run out of food when half of the people in the centre were still queuing. I knew this because it concerned me that these people would not be fed. I talked to this lady and asked her where the food can be bought from, I would go out to buy some. She stumbled and went back to the kitchen. Moments later she returned and spoke to me normally telling me they had found more. I did not tell her anymore than what I knew was true.

I met a man who had cancer in the parish centre. He had a visible tumour growing from the right side of his throat. He made out as though I was with Jesus as His Disciple. I made it clear to the man that I was no one, just a man who wanted to help. No one in the room wanted to speak to him, and I knew to do so but I didn’t know why. He asked me to lay hands on him, and I knew not to, it would have been sinful for me to do this, I have not been given permission from Our Lord Jesus Christ to do so. I tapped him on the shoulder with love and told him I would pray for him.

There was another man who was helping run the lunch who asked me my name. I told him my abbreviated name I was using at this time. He talked to the lady who tested me and made out as though I had been sent there by Jesus Christ. I insisted I was just another man, no one at all. I had not been sent, I had only come to help with them. The man lined his children up as I departed and I was very embarrassed. He thanked me for my help this day and I did not do anything at all. I shook their hands but knew to leave quickly.

In the following weeks I did pray for the man with cancer, and Our Lord is with him right now. I left a Mass intention with the University Catholic Church I had been attending Mass one Sunday.

In the weeks following I began to lose my way.

I began to make people walk to Subway from where I was buying food because I did not want them to spend cash on other things. This was very sinful of me. It is wrong not to give someone what they need, what they have hunger for, what Our Lord gives them want for.

I am sorry for what I did to You, Lord, and to Your child, that man.

I bought food vouchers because this is what I had been told to do by others if I wanted to help people. This is plainly not what they need. They need what they want. They want what they are given want for. This is Our Lord’s to give, and we are asked to share our wealth with those who are without.

People need what they have want for. These people know what they want.

If a man wants a cigarette, he should be allowed to find one.
If a man wants a bed, he should be allowed to have one.
If a man needs comfort and care, it should be given to him.

I did these things because I was given want to do them. It is because I was with Him even then, He gave me all this to do through my desire to be with Him.

When they escorted me back to England from being incarcerated for my want to speak with Him in April 2012, He gave me instruction to feed another man on the street in Manchester city centre. I had no money myself and I was given a stipend by my F002 for an evening out. I gave the man food and water and chocolate eggs because it was almost Easter. The man thanked me for this gift and he stayed and enjoyed the gifts he had been given by Our Lord Jesus Christ. It was wrong to then be accused of wasting money which I had been given, which I was told when I returned home. It was not mine to give, is what I was told, even though I declined alcohol and other people’s company that evening.

Once I was under the care of the Early Intervention Team in 2012, as their forced therapy got underway, I was prevented more and more to even leave the house for anything but work. They tracked my spending, my habits, my sleeping patterns, everything in my life was locked down. Any sign that I went out onto the streets to help someone would have been punished with incarceration, to give even £20 away. This is exactly what happened 5 years later in March 2017.

Lamb of God, have mercy on us all, and grant us Your Peace in our day.
Jesus, have mercy on us all, and grant us Your Peace in our day.

These are the words of Jesus Christ, Our Life:

“I have been with you, Timothy, all these years.
I have helped you with all these things.”

Lord, thank You, for everything. I need You now more than ever before.
Please stay with me, Jesus, I need You all the time.
I love You, my Life, my Love, Our Precious Sacrifice whom I adore with all my heart.

“These are the things you must do for My People.”

Yes, Lord Jesus, I will. Please show me Your Way of Truth and Life, and I will obey every Word.